The Southern Charms Fan Box

I actually have two most embarrassing moments in my life......so far at least
But I'll tell you about one for now.

So it was 1986 or 87. I was working as a waitress in a small Mojave Desert town in California. The restaurant had a big "conference" room and employees from this big plant near town would come there at lunch, usually all at the same time and fill the room. One day I had the conference room in addition to my regular tables out front and all the workers from the plant came during the lunch rush. I was absolutely SWAMPED. So I'm taking the orders in the conference room and I've got customers out front needing attention and I'm feeling really rushed. I was used to guys flirting with me, and I usually didn't mind it but this day one of the guys in the conference room was being really slow to decide what he wanted, but he didn't want me to leave while he decided. So I'm standing there, really feeling frazzled cuz I'm wondering how many orders are in the window that need to be delivered and how many customers are ready to pay or want dessert, or more coffee......and finally the guy starts to order, and he's being slow.....and he's stuttering.

And stupid me...…...OMG I thought he was messin with me! Flirting by keeping me there...…..BOY was I mistaken!
So I have my pad and pen in my hand and I look at him and kinda loudly tell him to...….
"SPIT IT OUT"...……
YIKES! The room got quiet and all those eyes were on me. Immediately I realized he was a stutterer when he continued to try and give his order.....and I wished I could crawl under the table!

I was so humiliated that I actually ran out of the room and went into the kitchen and told the cook I was trading places with her. I grabbed the grill spatula and gave her my order pad and said I'm not going back out there, YOU wait those tables......lol

So she did. And I stayed in the kitchen and cooked the rest of my shift
I told a stutterer to spit it out. OMG I will never ever forget that.

Anyone want to share.......now that you've had a laugh at me?

c'mon...……...someone else has to have an embarrassing moment...…..
I let you laugh at me......now I wanna laugh at you...….

Ok, so I'll say this.. asside from the time that my mom walked in on me during alone time when I was 13... I'd have to say the time that I was flirting with a girl who I had known a few years prior and ran into her again, then didn't realize that she was dating a guy that was one of my lab partners... felt really bad about that one.

I've had a couple in my lifetime and most have been related to wardrobe malfunctions and inadvertent nudity.

For example, I tend to walk around naked in the house, even with four kids (two boys and two girls, all teens) about the place. Usually this is just a quick dash into the kitchen where we traditionally fold all our clothes. If I'm freshly out of the shower and looking for something that has just been washed and folded I simply shout "Avert your eyes!" and walk down the hallway into the kitchen so I can grab what I'm looking for. My sons know to look the other way until I've come and gone. This is a method I developed when realized I could never get my children to properly identify what I was looking for and bring it to me. I know, go ahead and call Child Protective Services on me, LOL.

So one afternoon a couple of years ago, my middle daughter's boyfriend was at the house. This was a surprise to me because up until that point, I usually knew who was at the house because they would have to arrange a ride and I would either have to go get them or their parents would drop them off. This boyfriend had just got his drivers license and had just dropped in while I was in the shower. So I needed a bra and panties and shouted my normal warning and marched right into the kitchen. Of course, he had no idea what the rules were and I was too quick for my daughter to warn him to look the other way. Needless to say, he never looked at me the same way again

About that same year, I went on a Sea Scout outing to the coast. Sea Scouts is co-ed and they needed a certain number of female chaperons to accompany the girls in the unit. Among their activities they scheduled a day at the beach to have fun. I had taken a very conservative one piece suit that was built like a tank, but it did zip up in the front like a wet suit. Well the suit was a couple of years old and I had perhaps squeezed more into it that summer than on previous outings. I was playing in the surf and a big wave took me down and the seam along one side of the zipper said, "see ya!". Both of my big shining boobies came out of the water, pale as the day I was born. I think everyone within a couple hundred yards on either side of us was blinded by them. So I gathered myself up as good as I could and made it to my towel and then of course, my swimming was over for the day because it was my only suit.

Just this year, something similar happened when I was shooting at the tank museum. I had this cool camouflage jumper I was going to wear but I had bought it without trying it on. It was really about two sizes too small but I managed to get into it. The museum owners were talking to us about getting on top of one of the tanks and the jumper just gave it up, right there as we were talking. I literally exploded. It really wan't that big of a deal because both the man and the woman had already seen me naked, it was just kind of humiliating to have a garment fail right in front of someone. If nudity was legal on America's funniest home videos it would have been a priceless catch. My girlfriend and I ended up cutting the sleeves out of the jumper, twisting the top, and making it into a topless romper. A little USA written in lipstick finished off the look. It turned out pretty good, but I think the jumper with the zipper pulled down would have allowed some sexy clothed shots for the free side.