Confusing Charm - Valerie SC3

[big softie]

Hi,

Valerie is my torment - I have chatted with her many times on emails and other sites. Then suddenly she just stops, emails are never responded to and I have sent loads - just to know she is OK.

Updates are so few and far between - I don't know if she is doing this anymore or just part time.

I maen no harm or insult to her - just want to know she is OK and would loud a reply to an email

Any info would be well recieved
Many thanks

[bbwmelsc3]

Sometimes life gets in the way. Computer breaks. Internet issues. Work regular jobs. Family issues! A lot can happen and our sites are often secrets we hide from friends and family! Photographers often are no longer able to shoot us so we have nothing to post! Sometimes you can email and the email goes to the spam folder as well! So sometimes emailing again it will go thru! I don't personally know her but I looked at her site! I saw she posted 6/4/2013! So I am sure she is ok hun!

[Scott]

Valerie and I had a great friendship.. and then poof..... she just stopped... am concerned we had a very close relationship.... and then nothing.. guessing it wasn't mutual.....

[RosiePieCharm]

She is probably busy with her personal life. This goes for ALL Charms. I'm kind of getting tired of this forum posts. (Sorry guys, but it's freaking annoying!) ALL Charms have their own personal lives. No matter how close we get to any fans we still have our personal lives which come first. No matter how much we love SC, talking to our fans, being on the board, updating, etc sometimes real life just gets in the way. We aren't being mean, confusing, or anything like that. I'm sure with time she'll come back around. Just be patient.

[innesSC1]

She is probably busy with her personal life. This goes for ALL Charms. I'm kind of getting tired of this forum posts. (Sorry guys, but it's freaking annoying!) ALL Charms have their own personal lives. No matter how close we get to any fans we still have our personal lives which come first. No matter how much we love SC, talking to our fans, being on the board, updating, etc sometimes real life just gets in the way. We aren't being mean, confusing, or anything like that. I'm sure with time she'll come back around. Just be patient.

Rosie - thank you for saying this!!!! I agree completely.

In addition, do not get upset with the charm for not responding to you. Don't get angry at her, insult her, etc. (not saying that's what you are doing OP, I just know that it has happened to other charms.) This would give her good reason to purposefully ignore you. Just be patient, maybe send a second email if it's been a couple weeks just letting her know that you hope she's doing well or something (but don't spam her lol).

[RosiePieCharm]

No problem Innes.

I know I've personally gotten annoyed with fans (I wasn't mean to them, but I let them know they were bothering me) when I got many emails in a row (daily or more) asking why I haven't replied when I've been busy. It sucks for both parties.

[SultrySerenaSC2]

As a charm, I think that at times, this can be a very difficult thing.........in that sometimes WE charms need to put ourselves in our fans/member's shoes. Especially when it comes to more personal and frequent communication with them.

I can totally understand Scott and Big Softie's point. Apparently they had more frequent communication with someone and then in their eyes, she just up and disappeared from their inboxes. So why wouldn't they wonder what happened? I mean to our fans/members, how is this any different than communicating with a real life personal friend, and then one day you don't hear from them anymore?
Just because it's a charm, doesn't mean they shouldn't wonder what happened.
But, from a charm's perspective: It's a little different than a regular "personal" friend, because we have to maintain a safety net around our personal "selves". No matter how much we enjoy emailing with fans/members, or no matter how often we email with specific ones, we can never let our guard down and "tell all".......for our own safety and security, we can't divulge everything that we would to a regular personal friend. So it's a fine line.
However, just because we're charms doesn't give us the right to jerk these guy's feelings around. I think that if we are going to get to know someone, fan or member, on a more detailed level than most fans we get email from, then we need to own that and keep their feelings in mind and not just say .........

"She is probably busy with her personal life. This goes for ALL Charms. I'm kind of getting tired of this forum posts. (Sorry guys, but it's freaking annoying!) ALL Charms have their own personal lives. No matter how close we get to any fans we still have our personal lives which come first. No matter how much we love SC, talking to our fans, being on the board, updating, etc sometimes real life just gets in the way. We aren't being mean, confusing, or anything like that."

With that said, I can totally understand Rosie's comments. Been there, felt that, so to speak. In my mind, my fans/members don't know the "real" me. So that is my reasoning for not emailing when I have personal issues come up, etc. Example: A few years ago, I discovered a lump in my breast. "I" had the lump, NOT "Sultry Serena". So that was something that I had to deal with, but fantasy "Sultry Serena" was immune from that and her tits were fine and dandy........it would have been a real erection killer for me to announce that to fans/members. So I kept it to myself, but it would have been too hard for me to go into my inbox and be all flirty and sexy AS Sultry Serena, when the real "me" was dealing with this stressful even. So I ignored my inbox for awhile. <Lump was removed and benign!!!!>

But to view it on the flip side, from a guy's view who's been emailing with me for awhile, I can see how that would be confusing for me to just stop replying to his emails with no explanation.

I mean the whole concept of what THIS is: we're nude on the internet, Living our lives with a sexy, fantasy type alter ego of ourselves, with lots of guys from around the world emailing us......which makes it easier for us to just think of everyone as just a fan, and part of the fantasy....... but when we take the effort to correspond with some fans more often than others, and possibly share some personal details of our lives, then we are holding out the branch of "friendship" albeit a strange friendship. And we are making it more real, for them and for us......

And I'm not speaking about the repeated emails that we get from someone who we haven't "befriended" so to speak.
Those are highly annoying. I'm just talking about the times when we chose to get to know someone better than others. It's easy to put our personal lives first, because no matter what you do in life, your personal life SHOULD come first. I'm just saying that it's rude to forget those who we've become friendly with, and disappear leaving them to wonder what happened. Not saying that means we have to forgo our security measures and tell all...........just meaning that maybe a little note saying, "hey, I've got crap going on right now and won't be in my inbox for awhile"........type of note.

And yeah, I've been guilty of that in the past myself, so I know how easy it is to do. I'm just saying I think it's wrong and for me personally, I'm working on NOT doing that anymore.

[lm443]

Serena, I agree with everything you said, to me you always will always be the greatest, have known you for 9 awesome years and have no complaints.
it has been incredible knowing you!

[dictums]

Valerie and I had a great friendship.. and then poof..... she just stopped... am concerned we had a very close relationship.... and then nothing.. guessing it wasn't mutual.....

It very likely wasn't. I just take the point of view that the women are here to make money. All contact they have with you is to further that goal. I'm sure certain charms have anecdotes about fans they've gotten to know, etc., but the bottom line is that SC isn't OK Cupid. The women are here to make $$, not friends. And I'm not saying this to sound judgmental, I just think it is healthy to recognize what the site is for what it is. Think of your favorite non-sexual entertainer. They likely enjoy meeting and being nice to fans, but they probably don't want to be best buddies. Its the same way here, just because it is sexual entertainment doesn't change things.

[RosiePieCharm]

Personally I am putting myself in their shoes. If I was a fan I'd naturally expect the Charm is just busy, not get my feelings hurt, and leave them alone for a while. Probably because that's exactly what I do when my "real life" friends don't reply for a while. But I've never NOT replied before, so I guess I can't really talk. I'm always communicating EVERYTHING that is going on in my life via Twitter and Tumblr, I'm totally out to my fans about everything. But I do see what you are saying. I guess if I wasn't used to that sort of thing it might hurt my feelings. I shouldn't just expect everyone to mind as little as I do!

@Dictums: Actually, quite a few girls on here make friends with their fans and just keep in touch. Money is why we started talking, sure. But that's not always why we keep talking. Though, I'm sure a large number of Charms actually do just reply for money, and I'm not going to bash that. This IS our job. But quite a few girls joined because they want to express themselves, want to feel sexy, it's a hot scene with their partner, etc with the money as just an added bonus. There are over 600 Charms/Gents on SC, you really shouldn't so rudely speak for everyone.

Though I have to say what you said has some truth to it. do NOT expect to be best buddies with a Charm! Not everyone IS looking for your friendship. Keep in mind this IS a job, so a lot of girls are just here to make money. AND THAT IS OKAY.

[SultrySerenaSC2]

dictums,
I agree with Rosie, don't lump us all in the same basket. I can guarantee there are charms -web models - celebrities and so on, who only have contact with "fans" for $$. But I can also guarantee you that there are others, who have contact with fans because they want to.

But I must applaud this statement of yours as it's definitely great advice that some fans should take to heart:

I just think it is healthy to recognize what the site is for what it is.

But back to the communication vs Money topic: I don't answer all of my email. I think I even mention that on my FAQ But I do read them all and answer the ones that touch me. Sometimes it may be a crude one liner "I'd love to fuck you" with a pic of their cock, and I'll answer it. Just depends on my mood and the time I have that day to spend in my inbox. It has nothing to do with $$. The truth is, that the majority of my members DO NOT email me, and the guys who do email me want to compliment me or just say hi, and I'm totally flattered that they've taken time out of their personal lives to send me a message, even if it's a crude one liner

Also, I spend a lot of time here on this forum, and it has nothing to do with $$.
I happen to like a lot of the people on here, I enjoy reading and participating in the different posts, and like that we all have something in common.

Money is not why I started SC or started talking to fans. I honestly started SC because my husband dared me. He never in a million years thought I'd do it. We're talking straight A student in school, virgin when I married, total goody two shoes girl here! So I took his dare and am having the time of my life! I started emailing with fans because to be honest, I was shocked that they seemed to find me sexy! Not because of $$.

The $$ is nice each month. I get the luxury of staying home and dressing in sexy clothes, emailing and getting to know great guys and girls, from all around the world, making friends with a few.............and not having to work at a boring min wage job to help pay the bills. So yeah, the $$ is definitely an added bonus, but it's not the reason I'm here at all. And for me, it's not the reason I talk with fans, nor is $$ the reason I chose to NOT talk to some fans..........cuz there's some fans that I wouldn't answer their emails if I had a million bucks offered to me.

[blycmike]

I just wrote a rather lengthy reply to this topic and it somehow got deleted when I clicked to submit it. I'm not typing all that shit out again so I'll give you the Cliffs Notes version.

@Dictums: You're a skeptic, I get it. In most situations I'm skeptical too. But you don't have to run around shitting in people's Spaghetti-O's. Take it easy Dude. Scott just seems a little concerned and bummed out. Rosie is right, charms and their fans do become friends from time to time. SC is different than other sites and that's why I love it here.

@Rosie: I have to disagree with you a little on this one. I don't think anyone, neither fan nor charm, ever "expects" to become best buddies. Sometimes it just happens. Of course money is likely a driving factor in many instances and there is nothing wrong with that. I just think that there is alot more to the majority of people that are a part of SC. Whether they're a model or a fan. So now that I got that off of my chest, just pm me with some free pics and I'll stop flooding your inbox with annoying e-mails begging for them. Kidding

@Sultry Serena: Your contribution to this discussion has been spot on in my opinion. You and I are on the same wavelength. Maybe you should pm me some free pics too. Again...kidding.

[RosiePieCharm]

@Blycmike: Actually I have had people email me saying "We'd make great best friends!" Then after a little while of chatting expect me to answer everything RIGHT NOW and when I don't whine that they thought we were "best friends" and how can I blow them off. I've had a few experiences like this. It's... interesting...

Speaking of someone saying this isn't OKCupid though, does any other Charm get those dating style emails? I'm constantly getting emails from guys who are looking for "the love of their lives" or a date or whatever. I tend to point them in the direction of OKC. Haha. It's weird to me. We aren't set up in any way like a dating site. I mean, I get why they do it. But it sucks!

[blycmike]

@Blycmike: Actually I have had people email me saying "We'd make great best friends!" Then after a little while of chatting expect me to answer everything RIGHT NOW and when I don't whine that they thought we were "best friends" and how can I blow them off. I've had a few experiences like this. It's... interesting...

Speaking of someone saying this isn't OKCupid though, does any other Charm get those dating style emails? I'm constantly getting emails from guys who are looking for "the love of their lives" or a date or whatever. I tend to point them in the direction of OKC. Haha. It's weird to me. We aren't set up in any way like a dating site. I mean, I get why they do it. But it sucks!

Rosie,

I don't think I articulated my point as well as I could have. Probably because I was pissed after losing an 800 word essay that I had typed prior to sending the abridged version of my post. To be clear, I can't even imagine the e-mails that you and every other charm must get. And I totally understand why that would tick you off. What I was trying to say is that I felt that what you posted made it sound impossible for a charm and a fan to become besties. And I just don't agree with that. Anything is possible.

And I can't believe I didn't get a response on the free pic bit. C'mon, that was funny. I would like to see a pic of Twin Peaks though.

[dictums]

But you don't have to run around shitting in people's Spaghetti-O's. Take it easy Dude.

Oh please. We're all adults here, you don't need to be the sheriff.

[RosiePieCharm]

@blycmike: Lol No worries. I did laugh at the free pix thing, I just forgot to reply to it! Oops!
I attached a picture of me at the lop where Laura's body was found. I had such a fun time on that trip!! <3

@dictums: We are all adults here, so we don't need to be really rude. All he was trying to say is what you were saying was rude, and it isn't appreciated.

[blycmike]

Sheriff!

[dictums]

@dictums: We are all adults here, so we don't need to be really rude.

That is exactly my point. I'm also not going to let you and him moderate me, especially if you think I'm the rude one here. Goodbye.

[RosiePieCharm]

Actually,m Dictums, I AM a moderator here. If you don't like it you can feel free to stop posting on the board entirely. Have fun trying to find another place full of sex girls, good times, and friends.

@blycmike: LOL <3

[dictums]

Given my past experience with Dick, it actually makes perfect sense that you are a mod.